@GodfreyElfwick: I suggest now is the time to send ISIS some *very* strongly worded emails - then hit them with the biggest petition they've ever seen.
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@phalguy: After watching Star Wars 20 told me he probably wouldn't go and see it again. And now I'm thinking he looks a lot like my old mailman.
@DiamondLou69: My co-worker was accused of flipping off the boss. I told HR that it couldn't have been him because he never lifts a finger to do anything.
@GrantTanaka: they say penguins mate for life, but that's bullshit cause my penguin left me first chance she had
@HatfieldAnne: *takes pen and notepad from psychiatrist’s hand “This’ll go quicker if you let me do it.”