@FloodyHippie: I support Greenpeace because I care about environmental activism, just not enough to do any of the real work myself.
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@TitaniumToplass: The bad news is we need to downsize on people named Jeremy, so you're fired. WHAT WAS THE GOOD NEWS? India's tiger population is up 30%!
@Dr_awfulpants: [Doctor office] -How are you feeling? -Not good. -Any side effects from the medication? *cries tears of fire* -Now that you mention it...