@juliussharpe: I support legalized marijuana because if everyone else is stoned I can trick them out of money.
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@WarrenHolstein: Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone.
@lisaxy424: You people who don't wear glasses don't realize how gratifying it is to take them off and rub your eyes when someone's being a moron.
@GoldenSpirals: Kid: Mommy, can we get a pineapple? Mom: No, sweetie. I don't know how to cut them. Kid: I know Mommy! You use a knife.