@juliussharpe: I support legalized marijuana because if everyone else is stoned I can trick them out of money.
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@UncleDuke1969: The only highlight of a brutal moving day: Wife: "That's way too big to fit in the back door." 4 people in unison: "That's what she said!"
@WheelTod: Cinderella & Clark Kent would be a fun couple. Any time she took off her shoe or he took off his glasses, it'd be: "Who the hell are you?!"
@DanHofer: I'm 30 and my knees won't even let me leap down steps to catch a subway. So yes, I think the Die Hard franchise is unrealistic.
@BamDebikins: Yes, mother, I have gained weight. No, it was not appropriate to point it out by pinching my muffin top in front of thirty people.