@JohnHilsen: I suppose I should be thankful that I'm a single adult. Life would be much more complicated if I were multiple adults.
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@ilovepie84: My Boss called me immature today so I gave him a wedgie and made fun of his ugly family.
@briancthayer: [house hunting] Friend: *hurls spear into vinyl siding* GOT ONE! Me: *hacking at brick siding w/ sword* GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!
@kerouac741: Twinkle, twinkle little star How I wonder where you are If you're not so very far After work, let's hit the bar