@ColoChiver: I sure buy a lot of alcohol. Hope I'm not a shopaholic.
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@AlexRogaski: Buying In Bulk In theory: Oh good, I'll have enough chips to last all month In reality: I'm gonna eat 5 family size bags of chips tonight
@MomofTeen: Me: You're old and out of shape and way past your prime, but you are nice. Mirror: Yes, you do seem nice.
@david8hughes: [assembling baby's cot] Wife: take that bit off Me [reluctantly removing the machine gun turret]: so anyone can just walk in here then
@ericsshadow: NASA: you've been selected to spend a year on the space station ME: wow that's awesome NASA: you and your entire family! ME: oh ok no thanks