@Underchilde: I sure get a lot of compliments on my people skills for someone who flips off 10 people every day.
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@Allison_Tolman: Therapist: Participate in a hobby your partner enjoys. Me: Like sitting on paper bags? Therapist: No, not your cat. A human partner. Me: Oh.
@PhilJamesson: Husband Bear: Honey! I'm home! Wife Bear: For God's sake, would you at LEAST say hello before demanding dinner?
@markedly: Accidentally said "shh" instead of "slow down" and a kid silently ran into a glass door
@roostermustache: Me:*runs into woods* ahh I'm gonna get killed by the clowns Clown: nah we just want to scare people Me: oh. can u make an exception for me