@LarryNow: "I sure hope Pitbull and Nicky Minaj do an album together!" - said no one ever.
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@Smethanie: My mom asked if my kids are driving me to drink with the snow days. Told her I've been drinking at home, stupid kids can't reach the pedals.
@AimeeHelene1: If this paper cut is any indication of my pain threshold, then child birth would definitely kill me.