@tkhan74: I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said, "How the hell did you get in here?"
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@koalaslament: Coworker said 'nice pink shirt, when did you come out?' I said 'IT'S NOT PINK IT'S SALMON!'. Then I snapped my fingers and skipped away.
@drinksmcgee: My boss wrote accidently wrote "Pantera" instead of "Panera" and now I'm dressed really inappropriately for this business lunch.