@MicheleAKALips: I suspected my marriage was in trouble when I'd meet my husband for dinner then we would both race home to make out with the babysitter.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: A horse walks into a bar & the bartender says, "why the long face?" & the horse says, "why the English Lit degree?"
@Sassafrantz: My boss at Walmart said I have to stop Febreezing the homeless and that they aren't homeless, they're customers.
@CoolCamel69: *pulls home cooked meal out of oven* *family awkwardly stares at me* Yup, this is definitely not my house.