@TheDairylandDon: I swallow at least one note per meal that says "we're all really proud of you," in case the person who does my autopsy is having a bad day.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@13spencer: One time I had a boss who called me while he was in the bathroom, and then he accidentally peed on himself, so sometimes good things happen.
@SuperJuanderer: What idiot called them swordfish instead of... oh, no, wait, actually that's pretty good.
@ImOnlineLol: remember: knives and alcohol don't mix. knives are solid they don't mix with anything. why where you trying to drink a knife anyways idiot