@Steelers1972: I swallowed my NyQuil with a 5 Hour energy and a latte and now my pet unicorn Steve and I are off to bake cheesecakes.
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@MrT1M: Public restrooms are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet and is wearing heels on one pair.
@XplodingUnicorn: Maybe there is no baby I'm starting to suspect my wife's been stuffing her shirt with an increasingly large series of hams Now I'm hungry.
@Parkerlawyer: My kid lost a tooth and the Tooth Fairy doesn’t have anything less than a $20 bill. This is not the motherhood I envisioned.