@TheCamelToe_: I swapped my wife's tampons with party poppers. Absolutely no sense of humour that girl..
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@theshamingofjay: It's a good thing this video game is rated mature because it's going to be babysitting the kids tonight.
@QwertyJones3: Mankind is capable of unimaginable feats of engineering and yet the windows on the airplane never line up with the seats.
@AndyAsAdjective: The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.