@TheCamelToe_: I swapped my wife's tampons with party poppers. Absolutely no sense of humour that girl..
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@jazmasta: [making small talk at a business function] "You're 35 aren't you?" "No, I'm 38" "Oh right" [long silence] "Did you used to be 35?"
@simoncholland: Letting the grocery bagger bring my groceries out sounds nice but I can't handle trying to remember where I parked in front of a stranger.