@TheCamelToe_: I swapped my wife's tampons with party poppers. Absolutely no sense of humour that girl..
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@cheeky__gal: I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can't tell because I'm eating Doritos.
@Swishergirl24: My favorite part about family dinner is when my brother says how he made 600K last year and I get to say someone made a clock of my Avi.
@DanMentos: [showing my 4yo a Slinky] me: look, it’s walking down the stairs kid: what else can it do me: literally nothing
@andyerikson: Give a man a baby, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to baby, and i think this saying only works for fish actually.