@richyrichric: I swear I heard my dentist whisper "yolo" as he reached for a chisel...
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@AudreyPorne: me: well I grew up without a dad and I turned out okay cw: don't u collect human teeth?? me: yeah but they're not my teeth
@patnspankme: This orange juice says shake well before drinking. *shakes juice and puts back in fridge then opens beer
@BoogTweets: Her: *slaps grilled cheese from my hand* I'm leaving you! Me: *slowly removes emergency grilled cheese from my pocket*