@ibid78: I swear if one more person RT's poetry into my TL I will draw a bath, light some candles, and just get lost in the verse's haunting imagery.
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@orange_rhymer: [robbing bank] leader: go in & grab everything you can *i go in to grab loot* Me: (yanking pen chain, increasingly panicked) no no No NO NO-
@GlennyRodge: My bear's diarrhoea problems are starting to worry me. The vet says he's getting better but he's not out of the woods yet.
@RobElliottComic: When I order delivery online and there's a "Notes" box I put "Ring bell, Cross moat, SLAY DRAGON" *Puts on dragon costume *Waits in bushes
@BuckyIsotope: I will be celebrating Columbus Day by setting sail for India, landing in Spain, and telling everyone who lives there to move out.