@LilSuzieV: I swear I'm about to be productive. Any minute now...
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@ThinkingSavage: I'm boycotting 50 Shades of Grey because it perpetuates the stereotype that men can change.
@WetzelGeek: The washing machine broke so I had to wash my undies in the river. As a bonus, 3 catfish floated to the top afterwards, so dinner is served!
@citizenkawala: People are impressed by the guy who arrives in a Ferrari. But they remember the guy who shows up on a pogo stick.