@kjmeow: I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese
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@JD_KC: The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading "blink if you're being held against your will"
@theshamingofjay: Whenever I see an account with a persons full name I always check to see if they're famous or stupid
@RxitWounds: *Power goes out* Wife: I can't see! *Shoes light up* Me: Ha! Whose shoes were "a waste of money" & "clearly meant for a large child" now?!