@AristotlesNZ: I swear to god dude, if you say "But what if we get arrested?" One more time you're out of the group.
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@sammyrhodes: Saying a prayer for all the turkeys tomorrow. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
@rockymomax: [date] ME: do you have kids or pets? HER: a son and a cat ME: what are their names? HER: John & Batman ME: nice! my son is also named Batman
@stevevsninjas: Me: Can you check my balance on this gift card? Cashier: ok Me: [ steps on card, lifts other foot without wavering ] Pretty good, right?