@Shock_Monster: I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots.
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@shutupmikeginn: I just ran into my high school bully and it was great cause I'm doing well and he's 17 which is very old for a dog
@Gre_Gone: [Entire house is full of trees] Girlfriend: What did you do?! Me: You told me to spruce things up. GF: Everything's stuck to everything!!!
@poe927: Her: You should drink in moderation Me: Moderation?You makin words up? H: You're gonna piss on my lawn again aren't you? M: ...In moderation
@CountOnVic: Kanye deleted all the slander like we didn't have an hour to grab screenshots and make power point presentations