@ch000ch: [i sweetly pet a wild baby deer in my lap] aww this is so boring
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@joerogan: There's an age where being drunk becomes pathetic but if you hang in there somewhere around 70 it becomes cool again.
@Mr_Kapowski: Is my iPhone named Freedom? Yes Do I never pick up phone calls on it? Also yes, because as an American, I let freedom ring
@silvertongue37: I could survive 3 months in the wilderness with a pocket knife and the contents of a woman's purse.
@JermHimselfish: *holding a rattlesnake in each hand* These are the angriest maracas I've ever played