@Mr_Kapowski: I t.hink I. mig.ht hav.e ina.dverte.ntly tak.en one .of my wif.e's bir.th c.ontrol pi.lls beca.use m.y perio.ds a.re irr.egu.lar
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@XplodingUnicorn: In hindsight, I made two key mistakes on this family vacation: 1) Going on vacation 2) Taking my family
@Staggfilms: Life is short. Take risks. Run with scissors. Dance with scissors like nobody’s watching. Stop waiting for tomorrow to do cool shit with scissors.
@markleggett: Celebrities are so rich because they save money every time they attend a movie premiere for free.