@Skullcat: I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I'll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
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@TheBoydP: I’m not saying I’ve gained weight, I’m just saying I don’t think my belt buckle should be facing the ground…
@garrettbarry70: The hotel has a live band and my favourite song is "We're going for a break now, we'll be back later"
@panmidwest: ME: thanks for "showing me the ropes" lol SAILING INSTRUCTOR: you're not even making a joke sailing is literally where that comes from
@joejwest: I'm going to freeze some of my sperm so that if something goes wrong later in life, I can kill my nemesis with a disgusting icicle.