@Skullcat: I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I'll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
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@MrBikferd: Guys: when you're shaving, do the Hitler part first. You don't want to get interrupted and then be running around with just the Hitler part.
@aveuaskew: Is this one haunted? "No" What about that one? "Ma'am, none of the booze is haunted" What kind of wine and spirits store is this?!
@geowizzacist: (after bedtime) 3:DADDY COME INTO MY ROOM! Me: go to sleep. 3:YOU HAVE TO COME IN BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR YOU M: yes you can 3:NO I CAN'T