@Chelsea_Elle: I take it personally when I let a car cut in front of me and then they immediately get into another lane. Come back you are with me now.
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@Bexdora: My Mother worries about me living in London sometimes. I tell her it's not London she has to worry about. I just injured myself on a potato.
@polksalad: Just found out my cat lied about being pregnant just to try and save our relationship and cover up for getting fat.
@EndhooS: [On a date at a restaurant] So this is nice huh? "Yea,uh, who's that?" *Dad is breathing on the window and writing 'VIRGIN' in the steam*
@andylassner: At least once a day I say "nice to meet you" to someone I've already met which is a great feeling for all involved.