@SirEviscerate: I take off my blindfold. Before me is a gory tableau of death and destruction, bodies strewn across the landscape. The piñata is unscathed.
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@iwearaonesie: *wife walks in* *sees cheese balls everywhere* *shakes head* "what? 8 won't get better at catching food in his mouth if we don't practice"
@carlyken: Friend apologizes for mess. Friend has immaculate house. Open her closet. Out comes 78 books, a piano and a gentleman squirrel in a top hat.
@ddsmidt: Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.