@mojo_bones_: I take pictures of my weed because they say the camera adds 10 pounds.
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@KoKeniSasquatch: Thanks to this face I've been forced to work on my personality and wit for decades.
@ShanaRose21: I have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing them. Let's all be thankful I'm not a surgeon.
@ThisOneSayz: Me to Hitman: in the bedroom. He is big. Hitman*pulls gun & enters* where is he? Me: on the wall! Hitman: that's a spider Me: kill it!
@Mindless4Miles: DJ: "MARRIED PEOPLE IN THE CLUB TONIGHT MAKE SOME NOOOIISE!" *Groans* *Sobs* *sighs* *a solitary gunshot*