@mojo_bones_: I take pictures of my weed because they say the camera adds 10 pounds.
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@Cheeseboy22: I don't understand why my coworkers always complain when I microwave my favorite meal: curry salmon stuffed with burnt popcorn.
@CatherineLMK: Shaking hands is so weird: "Nice to meet you, have some germs and dead skin cells."
@Liber_what: Me: hey squirrel, dnt steal d pigeon's food, the eggs are about to hatch S: u stole a cake frm ur roomate Me: Me: here, take the eggs too