@WittySassBasket: I talk a lot of shit for a girl with a blankie.
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@ShortSleeveSuit: Her: You’re always teaching the kids how to use things improperly! Me [flattens out a piece of lettuce, takes my writing ham out of the tackle box]: Go on...
@AnOrangeSNES: THIS IS SPARTA! *Next slide* THIS IS MY HOUSE IN CHICAGO! *Next slide* THIS IS MY PERSIAN CAT! *Next slide* Leonidas, it's getting late.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [magicians backstage] don't panic guys but I think we really just sawed that woman in half
@slimmy_shady: Never eat ice cream while chatting online. Sister: why are you typing so slowly Me: well my other hands busy. She hasnt replied yet.