@DaddyJew: I talk a lot of shit for someone who still says "righty tighty lefty loosy" before turning anything
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@ArfMeasures: [Stranded after plane crash] ME: We need to choose which one of us to eat first GUY: But why, pacifically? ME: Ok I've made my choice
@MafiaJoker78: *Leaves home for the day... *Fears I left something behind *Runs inside to see baby playing with my phone. *Grabs phone & leaves.