@jackiembouvier: I talk like a sailor in front of my kid. He's gonna swear anyway and I want him to be good at it.
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@jjhartinger: I went to the Gym and the power went out. I whispered, "thank you baby jesus" and left.
@UncleDuke1969: "I'm THIRSTY!" "Can I have a drink?" "DAAAAAAAAD!" "I WANT WAAAAAAAAAAAAATER!" See? My son can turn water into whine, too. Your move, God.
@skele_tim: CAT VAMPIRE: let me in! ME: ok CAT VAMPIRE: you fool! now I will suck your bl- ME: *closes door* CAT VAMPIRE: ... CAT VAMPIRE: let me out