@charliedelta7: I taught my son how to spell beer so he'd stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge.
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@elonjames: "...and I would've won if it weren't for you meddling minorities, women, gays, young people..." - Mitt Romney #ScoobyDooVillain
@Book_Krazy: Yeah sex is great, but have you ever rubbed your eyes for a really long time? O. M. G.
@jake_likes_naps: [accidentally calls teacher "mom"] MY BRAIN: shit, play it cool. say something. ME: what's for dinner tonight BRAIN: what