@LolaFaglana: I taught my youngest niece and nephew to say "Mommy steals credit cards" when they're in a checkout line.
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@Wine_Honey1: These people act like they've never seen anyone collect change from the bottom of a fountain & stuff it in their bra to buy more liquor.
@lovemydogduck: I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.
@tchrquotes: Student:Why do we need to know this? Me: To look smart for your friends. Student:What if I don't want to look smart? Me: You're doing great.
@hello_saylor: Fact: it's impossible to look tough while getting a snack from a vending machine. You're all, "Wheeee! A tiny bag of Cheetos!"