@FilthyRichmond: I taught the kids to sign my name on report cards and detention slips because a good parent knows how to delegate responsibility.
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@dril: if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
@Elizasoul80: I don't have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up.
@KentTheG: I dated a meteorologist once just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time.
@MableGertrude: I'm not saying you're on twitter too much, but your six-year-old is running an arms trade with the Mexican drug cartel out of his tree fort.