@FilthyRichmond: I taught the kids to sign my name on report cards and detention slips because a good parent knows how to delegate responsibility.
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@TVsCarlKinsella: ALBUS: Got Dementors to protect Hogwarts this year. They suck souls out! Indiscriminately! KIDS: ... STAFF: ... ALBUS: I can't control them.
@hazelmotes1: On the Titanic 0 people died from alcohol poisoning and 1,500 people died from drinking too much water. You decide which is more dangerous.
@Tommytoughstuff: *gets pulled over by police* *shows a little skin* Officer: "Who's skin is that? Please step out of the vehicle sir."