@Amburglar_: I teach curse words and racial slurs to children whose parents allow them to run around restaurants.
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@MrSpoonicorn: "can i smoke in here?" "sure go ahead sir" "thanks" *lights scented candle* "can i scatter rose petals in here?" "erm- "can i dim the lights
@krismuscookie: The WHICHING hour: when I lay awake in the wee hours labouring over which comebacks I should have used in every argument I've ever had.
@LeviathanPride: Guys at work are always like "why are your shorts so short?" Then I spin kick an inch away from their face with such precision and they know