@Amburglar_: I teach curse words and racial slurs to children whose parents allow them to run around restaurants.
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@gylertagan: [First Date] Her: What do you do for a living Me: (Forgetting the word masseuse) I uh squeeze people Her: Um...? Me: No its okay they pay me
@CornOnTheGoblin: "well i asked asked her to move in after 3 months but i don't think-" [cop interrupts me] do you know how fast you were going IN YOUR CAR