@_PatDonovan: I tell all my ex girlfriends I just want them to be happy (happy was a golden retriever I saw get hit by a train in 1997)
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@dubstep4dads: ladies say I'm a hamster in the sheets because I squeal when I'm uncomfortable and I leave small pellets in the bed
@massive_images: Dad: "So what are you going to do after you graduate?" Me: "well, mom said we'll probably go out somewhere to eat"
@Parentpains: Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push, into traffic.