@Elizasoul80: I tell my boyfriend I love him all the time and all he says are things like "make a left in 300 feet" and "you've reached your destination."
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@TrashCave: 2032:: Scientists force bees and birds to mate, just for kicks. 2033: The Bumblehawks reign supreme.
@TheTweetOfGod: Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you've already screwed it up.
@shawnspree: Wife: Why do I have a temperature of 101.3? Me: Maybe you're pregnant? Wife: What's wrong with you? *damn you webMD, damn you.
@ClaytonSykes: Candy Crushers keep inboxing me saying that they need "lives" as if I didn't already know that.