@Elizasoul80: I tell my boyfriend I love him all the time and all he says are things like "make a left in 300 feet" and "you've reached your destination."
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@SardonicTart: [Job Interview] How would you describe your time management skills? Me: Can we talk about this later? I'm late for an appointment.
@justabloodygame: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give Jesus a fish, and you and your family will eat nothing but that one fish for a lifetime.
@markleggett: If your rice accidentally gets wet, you can dry it out overnight by placing it in a bowl of cellphones.