@WheelTod: I tell my kids that thunder means God is shouting; rain means God is crying; and lightning means God is killing Luke Skywalker.
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@Freeman4all33: It was so cold UN weapons inspectors suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii
@PaperWash: "Pharaoh, we have completed the pyramids. They align to communicate with the galaxy" Sweet. Hey look at these stupid cats I drew LOL
@dxblarssonENG: I'm such a slave to the man working on a Saturday night. A drunk slave but whatever. Atleast my e-mails to my boss are hilarious now.
@lucidchemistry: ME: Who's my little sex kitten? HER: *slowly pushes me off bed* ME: [from floor] That's right baby.