@WheelTod: I tell my kids that thunder means God is shouting; rain means God is crying; and lightning means God is killing Luke Skywalker.
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@DaHess1: Her: What's your fantasy? Me: Movie theaters that charge kids 3 and under $500 per ticket.
@flashember: [Stock market crashes] "Oh no, I better check on my investments!" *opens cupboard over top of the sink* [1000s of Shrek dvds fall out]
@TweetsByTheTony: The Lion King is probably my favorite children's movie about running away from your problems until you're strong enough to kill your uncle.