@Dawn_M_: I tell people I broke my neck playing sports but it was actually from flicking my ponytail to unleash ancient curses.
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@GeorgeTakei: So let me get this straight: Trump supporters are butt hurt because someone overgeneralized them and called them a mean name? Oh, the irony.
@daplusk: I nod and smile at empty places just to confuse any ghosts that might be there into thinking i can see them.
@timdonakowski: Been married six months and I can't even remember the last time I felt lucky on Google.