@JessObsess: I tell people I'm narcoleptic so if I fall asleep when they're talking to me I don't seem rude.
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@LnL245: [Checking in at Comic Con] Attendant: How long did you spend on your cosplay? Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked "Casual"*
@JaiWalker: Childless people wondering what it's like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
@better_off_dad: I keep forgetting my passwords so I changed them all to one that's super easy for me to remember: InsufficientFundsContactYourBank00.00