@JessObsess: I tell people I'm narcoleptic so if I fall asleep when they're talking to me I don't seem rude.
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@peachesanscream: You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon:
@JohnLyonTweets: Me: Sometimes I think I have more imaginary conversations than real ones. Scarlett Johansson: That's very interesting.
@AGStr8upNinja: She told me she liked it doggy style so I gave her a treat & took her for a walk.