@chuuew: I tell people "I'm not looking for anything serious" because I'm hunting clowns.
@thetobbie: ME: Have you seen my denim jacket?
GF: No, but it's okay. Just checked the weather & it's not going to be the 1980s today...
@_ISpeakTrue: That moment when you make out with the air trying to find the straw in your glass
@peeznuts: Cop- Do you have any drugs in the vehicle?
-No, go fish.
@Izianikapani: Who told cauliflower it can be anything it wants?
@DurtMcHurtt: Getting a neck tattoo is probably the coolest way to show your love for manual labour.