@IamEnidColeslaw: I tell people my parents are divorced, but technically we lost my mom in a corn maze
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@GreyPath1: I am a woman . You are not supposed to know what's on my mind. For heaven's sake, I don't know what's on my mind.
@DJRotaryRachel: Not saying Lois Lane is a shitty reporter but my friend showed up without his glasses on today and I recognized him after like 20 minutes.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [God wakes up] oh man i am hungover, what'd i do last night? [sees that goats have the ability to scream now] haha oh yea