@IamEnidColeslaw: I tell people my parents are divorced, but technically we lost my mom in a corn maze
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@ChipKellysBalls: Jehovah's Witnesses door-to-door success rate would be a lot higher if they partnered up with the Girl Scouts & started selling cookies ...
@Jake_Vig: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just think, there are people out there who don't get to read my tweets.
@JhonRules: me: you know they never did catch the zodiac killer guy next to me on the bus: why do you keep saying that
@mejustbeth: Tried to be sly and shove the whole cookie in my mouth without him seeing me. Then he turned around and asked me a question.