@joeljeffrey: I texted my girlfriend "goodnight, love you" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings.
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@genehunter1: My Christian friend asked 4 proof there is no God.nnI pointed out Adam Sandler is a multimillionaire movie starnnNow my friend's an atheist
@sofarrsogud: DINOSAUR PARTY TRICERATOPS: GROUP SELFIE!! *hands phone to T-Rex T-REX: Still not funny you guys. Not. Funny.
@BroIsMeeeee: Ladies call me the mitochondria because they kinda remember me from high school and i'm in a cell