@joeljeffrey: I texted my girlfriend "goodnight, love you" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings.
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@ladybroseph: Boy, are you a yellow sports car because I am embarrassed to be seen with you but I am very pleased with your performance.
@samalmightysam: I T H I N K W E S H O U L D R U I N P E O P L E S T I M E L I N E B Y T W E E T I N G L I K E T H I S A L L D A Y . . . . .
@XplodingUnicorn: Texas principal: If that's a homemade clock and not a bomb, what time is it? Muslim student: Time for a lawsuit.