@Brianhopecomedy: I texted my wife with "ROTFHAHA" & she replied with "LMAO" so I don't think she understands that I'm having a heart attack.
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@Cheeseboy22: Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
@nachosarah: the only reason you should be showing me pictures of your kids is if they're missing or you want them to be
@NINETIREDBUGS: the moon has NO GENDER and IS MY BEST FRIEND and SAID YOU GUYS HAVE TO BE NICE TO ME OR IT'S CANCELING TIDES FOREVER