@Brianhopecomedy: I texted my wife with "ROTFHAHA" & she replied with "LMAO" so I don't think she understands that I'm having a heart attack.
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@senderblock23: Why is there a wolf on Wall Street. Animals are bad with money. My cat just lost $80 at high-stakes uno
@theshamingofjay: My son just said he doesn't like cheese and now I have to interview all the mailmen in my neighborhood
@david8hughes: [leans against bus stop as bus approaches & winks at girl waiting] I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to.