@BlindChow: i texted random strangers trying to trick them into finishing my owl joke
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AbbyHasIssues: People who say I'm hard to shop for obviously didn't see how excited I just got finding an almond on the couch.
@drewtoothpaste: I love it when websites pop up a box to make me subscribe to read, and I always enter my real email address because it's important.
@GrantTanaka: having sex w/ a girl who has multiple personalities would be awesome unless one of those personalities was hitler
@zachreinert03: Recently joined the mile high club sandwich. That's when you have sex on a plane, and it's with a sandwich