@Smethanie: I texted someone "hell yeah," but autocorrect changed it to "hell year" because even our phones know.
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@Brampersandon_: NURSE: do you have any allergies ME: burnt bread NURSE: you're allergic to burnt bread? ME: yes I'm black toast intolerant
@Just_Oh_Susanna: I just want to look as good as Madonna does now when I've also been dead for 27yrs.
@XplodingUnicorn: Sometimes I wonder how such beautiful kids can really be mine. Then my 4-year-old opens a door and runs into the door frame. Then I know.