@BiIIMurray: I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
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@Dr_awfulpants: [at ATM] Would I like to check my balance? Okay sure. *presses button* *robot leg shoots out and sweeps mine* 'Your balance is: awful'
@TimFederle: Why are pilots so honest? Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."
@NikiWithIssues: There's a butterfly in my office and a nerf gun in my purse. Susan, clear my schedule.