@1800Randy: I think abs are for guys that don't have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
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@Abusitron: *runs in out of breath* Friend: what's going on? Me: [heavy breathing] bear with me Friend: Ok *waits* *bear runs in, also out of breath*
@DannyZuker: Parents, stop giving your kids these crazy names. I just found a love letter my son wrote to a girl named "Steven!"
@KentWGraham: Why don’t the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?