@SummerCandyEyes: I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least walk away with a cat.
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@Coolisiana: Give me one reason why I shouldn't pass this math class "You held up 2 fingers just now" Ok then give me that many reasons
@iAmDelFreaky: Some hipsters were camping next to me and asked for help starting a fire. So, I chased one around until his corduroys burst into flames.
@Marcisgoinham: Some nights I stare at the stars wondering if you can see the same ones Then I realize, of course you can, I'm in your backyard
@TampaBayMomma: Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.