@SoulYodeler: I think Argentina is quite capable of deciding who it wants to cry for. Stop being so bossy Eva.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: How dilated is she? Nurse: 4 centimeters. Me: This is America. Nurse: 0.000198838 furlongs.
@TheBoydP: Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife's is around $643.27. Apparently
@Mr_Kapowski: *guy looks around to see if anyone is looking* *sees the coast is clear, licks tree* And that's how they found out about maple syrup
@heymonroe: *notices girl singing song that's on in coffee shop* Me: You're a Cher fan too!? Her: Hold on *takes off bluetooth* Her: What? *dies alone*