@Alex_N_Chains: I think at this point, a pterodactyl egg has better odds of getting laid than I do.
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@KatieKatCubs: My dad likes to come to my office & tell the receptionist he's my parole officer in case you were wondering how I turned out like this.
@jdbalani: The self checkout lane was probably invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons.
@FreudsTwin: My therapist told me I should start making my own decisions. So I stopped seeing him.