@WilliamAder: I think Diane knows I was her Secret Santa at this morning's office party, because this afternoon I had to borrow my stapler back from her.
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@NotKarma: Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!
@JennInTheCorner: Give a banana to your uninvited house guest. Hold another banana up to your ear. Only respond to questions asked thru the "banana phone".
@Steven37366100: Me: I DON’T HAVE TO TAKE THIS FROM YOU! Nurse: It’s customary to hold your newborn, sir