@Tommassh: *looks through telescope* *telescope thinks you're looking at him and waves* *you wave at Jupiter behind* *telescope awkwardly lowers hand*

@sixthformpoet: I can never tell if a mother duck is being dutifully followed by her ducklings or chased by a gang of young duck criminals.

@LeonEarlgrey: "A cantaloupe is an antelope that doesn't."

@timdonakowski: I don't need a pair of underwear, I just need one clean underwear.

@jwoodham: Welcome to Applebee's! Can I take your order or do you need a few minutes to reflect on the mistakes you made in life that led you here?