@ShaunRightNow: I think God created marriage so death wouldn't come as such a disappointment.
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@BuckyIsotope: [on game show] Choose a door for a goat or a new car "I'll take door #2" You've won the car! *sees it's a Kia* "Can I have the goat instead"
@UNTRESOR: Why bother drinking water? You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.
@glittergirlD43: Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?